and time keeps ticking...

Today we celebrate our 24th wedding anniversary.

*and yes, I passed my final PT test this morning!

"Find what makes your heart sing...

It's not been the best past few days for me. Yea, I've met obligations but my heart hasn't been happy. I've somehow lost my ability to manage my time...and I have been struggling with finding time to do create my own music. It makes my heart heavy.my mind blue.my countenance downcast.my eyes tearful.

If I don't make time to be who I am...I get lost...I know what makes my heart sing.

I have dropped the ball with all the hospital, doctor visits and plain ole stuff that has taken over my life...my exercise routine has suffered and the final PT test is this coming Monday. I know I am deficient. I am so very disappointed in myself. I have allowed myself to be consumed. Course, being sick for two weeks and taking antibotics for an upper respiratory infection didn't help, either.

I mowed the grass today...to absorb some sunshine and work is always good therapy for me...worked out in the yard, weeding and such...I cried my eyes out...don't feel badly for me...they were therapeutic tears...


Then I listened to Chonda Pierce ...and Jeanne Robertson...Emily came over and we played...I fixed supper...then Emily painted the fence, with water. shortly after, Pa,Winston and Emme B and I went for a walk around the block. We stopped and talked to a family of five passing with their dog. The dog came up and licked on Emme, the three children all came up and petted on Emme. The parents said, "Oh, what a pretty little girl." Emily absorbed it all! When we got back the Muirs were outside with the new twins...and we sit and chatted and played for quite a long while until Becky came by to pick up the little squirt.



I did not go anywhere today! I did not get in a car. I did not have any appointments or engagements. I have not had a day like such for too long.

I have instead been full of hurry and worry. Even now my mind is trying to skip back to thinking about tomorrow...Pool Patrol 1300-2000...then Monday is our 24th anniversary...do I get to celebrate it? Well, somewhere after the final PT test at 0800...and my shift of 1600-0200...the next day, Mom's oncology appointment...then Thursday the final Oral Board @ 1400 and then to work...my birthday is Friday...I am off...but no I'm not. I signed up for Pool Patrol remember? So, my assignment for that week landed on my 44th birthday...1300-2000...the Foster family reunion is the next day. When am I suppose to workout...do laundry...study...tend to the family?

I used to be a great time manager.

I haven't even gotten to see my newest little nephew, Henry.

Listening to Papa right now play tunes for me on his guitar...as I type my thoughts out, I can smile with meaning...

It's amazing how different you can feel at the beginning of the day and at the end of the day.
It's all because I was able to take the time to create my own music...like Pa is doing right now...wish you could hear it. It is beautiful...it sounds like wind chimes making music.


"Find what makes your heart sing and create your own music." ~Mac Anderson

A Mother's Love is Not Limited

Sweet little Momas

And so our mothers and grandmothers have, more often than not anonymously, handed on the creative spark, the seed of the flower they themselves never hoped to see -- or like a sealed letter they could not plainly read.-- Alice Walker

Happy Mother's Day to All who have embraced a child for many years...for a brief span of time...or for just a few moments maybe, just glancing and smiling toward an unknown child and giving them a sense of hope. Opportunities are everywhere.

___Amendment to the early morning post.__

Almost all six were able to visit for lunch...Anna was here in the form of the rose she presented me with the night before. These guys are my first dream...raising them were the happiest years of my life. The rest is just icing on the cake.

Mom and Scarlet were able to visit, too!

She Sings For Her Supper

Anna had a performance tonight at the Common Grounds Coffee Shop...She's a real jewel...I watched people come in that didn't know her, listen to her play and sing...and then place money in her tip jar...and/or buy her CD...She took her money out of the tip jar at the end of her show and held it up to Papa and me..."I'm so excited!" she said, "grocery money!"

I thought, Yep, she sings for her supper..."Songbirds always eat ...If their song is sweet to hear... sing and you'll be fed."

Speaking of the little things

I got spend some time with Emme B and Ethan today...4 hours...the sun was shining. After the first 2 and 1/2 hours, Emily conked out and Ethan followed sometime after.

I Live for Little Moments Like That...

And so the twist and turns of adolescents is wreaking havoc on my home. I find myself shocked, frustrated and plain out disgusted. Everything gets a tint of grey over it when the issues peak. It’s easier for me to forget the good stuff.

I signed onto my email today in the thick of my repugnance, searching for something to help me not think about the continuous cycle that I must endure for a few more years. My email held a note from my daughter-in-law who was advising she started a blog…and she honored me with it.

Now… that little moment took me out of a funk and was just what I needed to remind me of what I’ve been meaning to post for about a week…. I meant to post about:

Listening to the song, I Live for Little Moments Like That by Brad Paisley and how it made me think of the little things recently that I have seen and experienced…that brighten me and take me to a level of contentment…like…

Walking along the trail at Pine Mountain, listening to the songbirds, feeling the breeze on my neck and Papa reaching over and taking my hand.

Stopping by Craig and Becky’s for a short second while on duty. With Becky bringing Emme B out to the cruiser to say hello to her Mimi. I take a Jr. Police badge sticker and place it on her shirt…and we talk about Mimi’s badge and Emme’s badge and she shines…then days later when she comes to visit Mimi she finds a business card of mine. It has a badge logo on it. She takes the business card, places it on her shirt and tries to make it stick. I still tear up reminiscing that moment.

Watching the squirrel on my “squirrel proof” bird feeder trying to steal sunflower seed and slipping and FALLING seven foot to the ground…landing on his feet, picking up a seed off the ground and acting like nothing happened.

Waking up to find a note on my dresser from Ariel…knowing she looked in on me as I slept and took the time to write a note…I felt like I had an angel looking over me.

Seeing my mom, as the smooth talking Oncologist tells her hard to swallow information in such a way that she smiles and giggles like a school girl. Gosh, it was so hard to fight back the ocean of tears dammed behind my eyes.

A co-worker’s devilish grin as she really wanted to put that stray cat in her buddy’s cruiser…

The little guy less than two years old, in the back seat of a car at a Speedway…with a seat belt on and no booster…I pull the babysitter aside and advise she’s not leaving until the child is in a booster seat…and by the way, Ms do you know what it would do to the little guy if you had a collision and he was just in the seat belt made for bigger folks? I look back in at the little guy as we wait for a friend to bring a booster seat… finishing off his candy bar, Curly black locks of hair, big brown eyes, smiling a serious chocolate smile as he looks up at me…innocently.

Yeah, I live for little moments like that.

April Showers Bring May Flowers

"Dark Eyes" My lastest treasure

I found my Fuchsia - Dark Eyes at the Farmer's Market last Saturday. Simply fell in love with it. I walked by the table first, glanced at her and said to Connie, "We are going to stop back at this table." (Love at first site...) She just stunning to me.

The flower reminds me of an icing decoration for a snazzy bakery cake. If you were to turn it upside down...She hangs on my porch by my front door and blesses me each time I go in and out.

I hate that it's taken a week to get it up to share.

If you click on the photo you should get the actual size...and OMG!!!! She is sooooo elegant! I even caught a few bugs on this shot...I always like to catch a bug and flower together. :O)

Timely Revelation

Okay...so she's embarrassed walking back from her turn at striking, disengaging and drawing her tazer...after she had some kind of brain fart...in front of 30+ competitive macho male officers...she's noticing a few heads shaking in what appears to be disgust...and this real gentlemen looks at her and sees the turmoil her psyche is experiencing...and says nonchalantly something to the extent of, "It's okay, different people have different strengths. And well...a needed revelation for this ole timer...each time the scene is replayed in her head, she just reminds herself... Yeah...Different people have different strengths.

The Feline

Our cat wears the pajamas in this house...

,,,sometimes I think it must be nice to lounge around the house all day in pajamas.

"Keep your face to the sun, and you cannot see the shadow"

The top of my head feels like it is going to crack…maybe it’s the sudden spike in blood sugar as after 2 cups of coffee and breakfast in bed after missing dinner last night. I’m dressed to run but I’m drawn to the sun spot on the carpet at the base of my bedroom window. So I lay down on it… warmth is always soothing. After propping my feet up on the window sill, my cat decides it’s going to have to be shared and gets me to adjust and make room for her. Any open window is hers…I should have known that. Lying on the floor looking up into the sky, the trees that are taller than our house are still naked…the sun is exposing the dirty windows in need of spring cleaning and dust is floating through the air. It’s comes natural to me to start worrying about when things will get done…and then amidst the worried thoughts I see a five inch rainbow on my curtain…caused by the same sunshine that is exposing the dirt…and I am reminded of His promises…He makes all things good…and as I focus on the rainbow I began to hear the birds singing merrily…and I see a chickadee in the naked branches flitting to and fro…and I know there is a lesson in this…a little birdy told me so.

It's that time for a new beginning!

They say it's a hoax...but every year, I balance a raw egg on my mantle. They say it can be done any day of the year...well, not at my house. :O) It only happens on the first day of Spring! AND I do it without any tricks...no cracks, no salt...just balanced.

http://www.astrosociety.org/education/publications/tnl/62/equinox.html

http://urbanlegends.about.com/od/errata/a/equinox_eggs.htm

What does STOP mean to you?

For years I teased the kids as I drove “Mom’s Taxi” and we approached stop signs, spelling out loud “S- T- O- P –then shout GO!” as if that is what stop meant.
Just a funny thing I did which in a way allowed them to learn that we sometimes see what we want to see or we hear what we want to hear.
I’ve been keeping an eye out for the past seven month and it’s down right predictable; when one approaches a stop sign with intent to turn right, it magically becomes a yield sign. The driver approaches the stop sign and usually keeps looking to their left as they turn right at the STOP sign. And some will say, “Well, nothing was coming” And I say, “How do you know a pedestrian was not approaching the crosswalk from the right…or a child on a bike from the right…or someone’s lost pet running into the intersection from the right…What if someone as crossing the street from your right just above the intersection away from the crosswalk…You didn’t even stop to look.”
That’s the whole reason there is a STOP sign because it’s an intersection and you never know “from which way what cometh.”
Kentucky law states, “Except when directed to proceed by a police officer, every operator of a vehicle approaching a stop sign shall STOP at a clearly marked STOP line, but if none, before entering the crosswalk on the near side of the intersection, or, if none, then at the point nearest the intersecting roadway where the operator has view of approaching traffic on the intersecting roadway before entering it. AFTER having stopped the operator shall yield the right-of-way to any vehicle in the intersection or approaching on another roadway so closely as to constitute an immediate hazard during the time when such operator is moving across or within the intersection in junction of roadways.”
So…without starting a STOP in Lexington campaign let’s try to remember: STOP means STOP and Yield means Yield and the meaning does not change when turning right.


AND finally a joke for those drivers who say…”Well, I slowed down…”

A car slows down at a stop sign and keeps driving. A cop sees him and pulls him over. The cop asks, "Why didn't you stop?"The man says, "I slowed down." The cop pulls out his nightstick and starts beating him. "Now," the cop says, "do you want me to stop or slow down?"

Loitering in Winter

Donna's View 2009

I was thinking recently about things I have done/not done/wished I had done differently in the past. That stuff can get you down. I came upon a little narrative at the bottom of my calendar with a quote from Henry D. Thoreau.

"We should be blessed if we lived in the present always, and took advantage of every accident that befell us, like the grass which confesses the influence of the slightest dew that falls on it; and did not spend our time in atoning for the neglect of past opportunities…we loiter in winter when it is already spring."

I won't add anything to that.

http://www.iath.virginia.edu/utc/christn/cheshdtaf.html Thoreau's Spring

Donna's View 2009

Now here's a thought..."When Satan is knocking at your door, simply say,"Jesus, could you get that for me?"

...That's Bologna...

Last week I came in from the hospital and I was passed the point of hungry. Ever been so hungry you didn’t have the sense to eat? Well, Papa fixed me a sandwich with a V-8 and some Ruffles. It wasn’t just any ole sandwich. It was a poor man’s gourmet sandwich. It was picture worthy…just didn’t have the camera sitting close by or I would have snapped it. I think it could have been sold in a restaurant.
Wheat bread toasted mayo, salt and pepper, pepper jack cheese, baby spinach and fried bologna.
It was tasty, tasty, tasty. I raved about it and gave Papa kudos for the creation…and he said, “Well, appetite is the best sauce.”
And tonight I was reminded of that tonight…it was 6 o’clock and I had gotten Aunt Juanita home and settled in, the 35 days worth of accumulated belongings put away…went to the store / pharmacy…came back and fixed her a peanut butter and mayo sandwich… not typical hospital food you know…and chatted with her as she went through a huge pile of mail…forgetting to eat something myself for lunch. If you had witnessed her coming into the house and moving about, going through this and that you would have never guessed she was just dismissed from the hospital. At 2:45 I got her settled into her “sleeping chair” for a nap…Papa stopped by with a thermos of coffee and left for his appointment. And then it hit again…Granny was at the back door; she came stumbling in and looked all worried. “Donna Lynn” she said, “Will you run me down to the Urgent Treatment Center? My veins don’t look right. I was sitting in McDonalds and looked down at my arm and my veins are really big.”
Now, for a bit of history... Granny watched Aunt Juanita’s cat while she has been in the hospital. Sometime after two weeks of Aunt Juanita being gone the cat, “Skippy” got out and didn’t come back. On March 1st, she came back home, Granny was there…and as Granny fed her, Skippy bit her! Bit the heck out of her hand! And for 10 days I have worried about that hand, she comes and asks me to take her to the doctor…and I wasn’t passing it up. The doctor agreed it looked angry and said to have her back in two days. If the infected hand did not show improvement, she would have to be hospitalized and given antibiotics intravenously. Then it was off to the pharmacy…and to cut it short…I was HUNGRY!
When I got back Aunt Juanita fixed the tomato soup and I fixed the grilled cheeses. Campbell's tomato soup has never tasted so good...And I was reminded again…Appetite can be the bestest sauce.

Be Still My Beating Heart...

I can’t sleep…I have sooooo much on my mind…

On February 4, 2009 @ approximately 1800 hrs, I received a call from my mother. She advised my Aunt had fallen in her home, that Granny could not get her up, and EC was on it’s way. I arrived and met the ambulance workers as they were taking my Aunt out of the house on the gurney. (Geez, I haven’t blogged in so long I’ve forgotten how to write normally…that all sortta has a report flow to it.)
Since then, for the past 34 days, I have been “hospitalized” and tomorrow I’ll be “dismissed” with my Aunt only to be a house guest in her home until my friend Connie arrives on Friday from Missouri to live with her.
I exercised for about 45 minutes tonight to relieve some stress. Probably would have worked if I hadn’t waited to do such right before going to bed. Just in case you don’t know it…exercising energizes you. It’s one o’clock and I’m wide eyed with a mind so busy, I’m confusing myself with my thoughts.
My mother fell on the 11th of February, Rosie’s birthday =) and was in the hospital for almost a week. She was on one side of the floor, Aunt Juanita on the other. Me? I was all over the place, bouncing from room to room. I always took the stairs…
When Aunt Juanita was stable and progressing in her recovery she was moved from ICU to the fifth floor. Again, I always took the stairs. I was so very thankful the day I moved her from Central Baptist to Cardinal Hill. The fifth floor sometimes three times a day was just about to suck the life out of my young at heart knees.
I wanted to share the stairs with you…at least the art that is up. I past the pieces so many days and still would see something new each time I climbed up or ascended down. The really nice thing about it all was the fact that with each passing I was reminded of different people in my life, which encouraged me in my plight of the nursing assistant. I won't post every photo nor mention everyone here that I was reminded of...Just enough to give a good idea of how the "Art for the Heart" made the journey a bit more tolerable by keeping my mind off of my racing heart.

Aunt Juanita says this one looks like he just belched. =)

This is me when I'm fussing at William

This one reminded me of Rosie

This one reminded me of Alice, Connie's sister in Puerto Rico

The eye with the clouds...Ariel

The apple with the table...Megan

This one reminds me of heart surgery

This one of Courtney, my mentor

This one of my sister, Scarlet

Both of these combined reminded me of Dad and Mom

There was an Old Woman...

I picked my Granny up this morning, to come to the hospital and sit with her sister who is in ICU. They are big buds you know. They’ve always been there for each other. This year they celebrated their 88th and 86th birthday.

My Granny has grayed and lost several inches of her height. She carries a worried look on her face and you can see confusion in her eyes. But she’s feisty and always has been.

My Aunt Juanita has grayed also, and although she no longer stands at 5’6, I still see the elegant lady that I’ve known since the beginning of my life. She is one of those people who get sweeter and sweeter as the days go by. The nurses even say, “She’s so sweet….she’s so cute…she’s the best patient.” She is a positive woman who has dropped to less than 100 pounds.

Two little ole ladies…buds for life. Every Thursday they go to their hairdresser together. They took great pride in their appearance. They both share a balding spot that force them to be wiglet committed.

What I saw...I wish I could have captured it on film.

Granny walked into the hospital room and viewed her sleeping sister, lying in the hospital bed with tubes running from each arm, out of her nose and various other places. Then this little old lady walked over to the other half of her life, and said, “Ah, she’s sleeping.” Which automatically woke Aunt Juanita up, who then smiled over at her younger sister. A few exchanges of words, smiles with eyes lit up and Granny tries to reach Aunt Juanita to kiss her. Her little legs are so short she can’t get tall enough to lean over the rail of the hospital bed. So, she doesn’t give up, but climbs upon to the bottom platform of the bed…grabs hold of the railing and reaches for her older sister’s head. She makes contact with the little wiglet… as she pulls herself toward Aunt Juanita the little wiglet moves toward Granny under her grip. Aunt Juanita is unable to move toward Granny due to her lethargic condition. But Granny makes it, just barely to her cheek, holding onto the wiglet and the bed railing she plants a quick kiss right before she loses balance and has to let go. “Ah, that’s a good one, “Aunt Juanita says.

I readjusted the wiglet and stood back and smiled. They look like two little girls at play. Two sweet little girls in their eighties.

Granny and Aunt Juanita celebrating their 85th and 86th birthday in 2008

**This was written on Thursday 02/05/09
Since then Aunt Juanita has had surgery. In the consultation with the surgeon afterwards, he stated he did not think this will be a "life sustaining" surgery.

An Icy Delimma

Winston anxiously looking back at front door.

Maybe it's his age...but Winston didn't pee until after two pm today...and that was when I drug him around the ground, slipping and slipping...he just couldn't manage to keep his legs steady. What do I do with a ten gallon dog who refuses to pee...follow him around in the house...cause it's gotta come out somewhere. We have taken a shovel out into the yard and broken the ice to provide areas of sure footing, still he has fallen several times. He manages to walk alot steadier if I lead him saying, "Steady, Winston. Slow down. Easy now."

Are your young pups taking potty breaks despite the ice?

“To appreciate the beauty of a snow flake, it is necessary to stand out in the cold.”

At approximately 2AM this morning...I was standing in the parking lot, looking up to the sky...tying to entice a fellow officer to see the beauty in the falling snow. It's so quite out when it snows. There is a certain hush that engulfs you as you stand in the mist of virgin downy white. If you slowing tilt your head back and try to focus on all the delicate snow flakes drifting down, they look like thousand of mobiles dangling from the sky. There's nothing like it. It's almost hallucinogenic. It's too magical to capture on film...I would love to capture it on video and have a piano piece softly playing in the background.

But you can't just throw your head back to look up. The flakes will inevitably land in your eye. There is an art in snow watching. You tilt back slowly and try to be as one with the light falling crystals.

He missed that...I guess in his hurry to get home to his warm abode, he threw his head back and due to the wet substances blocking his view...literally couldn't see what I saw.

"You stand out here watching snow fall, Shepherd...I'm going to get in out of the cold."

I just smiled...I think you are, too.

Guard Their Minds, Their Bodies and Their Souls...

Last week I was able to have Emily over a a bit of play time. It was a rainy day, bleary, dreary kind of day. As soon as we enter the house, she starts what I call the "walk through." She immediately goes to William's room to see if his pens are still on the table beside his bed. Of course, I follow close behind, shutting the hallway bathroom door as I am catching up, and call out, "Now, Emme, we can't be in here." I redirect her and close the door behind us. She then takes a right out of William's room and goes straight to my bathroom where she locates the cat's water bowl. I always make it to the bowl just as she is picking it up with the water holding onto the lip of the bowl. As I take the bowl and sit it in the tub, she turns to the toilet and pats the seat. I take her out of the bathroom closing the door behind me and the walk through continues down the hallway and straight into the kitchen. I am usually a step ahead of her and catch the dog water bowl before she has completely lifted it...and usually turn around from sitting the water bowl on the counter, just in time to take the cat food out of her hand, place it back in the bowl and sit it on the counter. Usually, then the walk through is complete and she will head to the toy room and the fun begins.

I always think of the Family Circus cartoons when this is going on...

Anyway, I store water bottles in play room that on occasion she had shown interest in. This week I had a plat of the little 5 oz. cans of V8s that I get from Sam's Club. I could kick myself in the tail for not having taken photos of her picking up those little cans and pretending to drink from them. She had a blast with them...they were mixed in with the toys, I found them in the living room and in the computer room. That night when I went to bed, I found one on the floor on my side of the bed. And I thought, how blessed I am to have a V8 by my bed. And I never wanted it to be moved. My little Emily placed it there, and how many other Mimi's in the world run into V8 cans at their bedside. It was a true treasure. Until Papa picked it up two days later and sat it on the back of the bed. Of course, I whined a bit and he responded with, "It's sitting right on the back of the bed where you can still see it."

"Ah, but honey, honey, Emme didn't put it on the back of my bed!"

It made me think, life is so crazy...you can have mini V8 cans placed by angels by your bed one minute and the next minute, it's gone...so treasure the little things, Donna. All those years, I tried to keep my house in order. All six of my brood can attest to the order and cleaning that kept things running smoothly. I would have never let my kids play with the water bottles or the V8 cans...let alone think it precious.

Today, I sat in the hospital with my sister as her son who is very close to Emily's age was getting ready for an MRI. He had nothing to eat or drink for hours and hours. This is the second time he has been hospitalized in the past two weeks. His little leg is in pain. His little crackling voice would make me fight back tears. When they sedated him, and he fell asleep, I did tear up. Little life so precious. So innocent and vulnerable. So dependent. Last week, the day before Ethan had to go to the emergency room, I had a dream. I dreamt that Scarlet and Ethan were drugged by a strange man. He drugged their Chinese take out food and had taken off with them. They were unaware of the danger they were in. I hunted for them and finally found them. In my dream I had to kill the strange man. I did everything I could to protect them.

We didn't even know Ethan was ill, we thought he just had a virus like everyone else. In our dreams we can do things that we are not capable of doing in real life. In my dream, I protected my sister and my nephew...today, I stand helpless in fighting the battle for them.

The MRI results show that he has Osteomyelitis, a bacterial infection in his little leg bone. It will require weeks of intravenous antibiotics. His moma is tired. As he was coming out of his sedation in his hospital room, he grew heavy in his moma's arms and she had to readjust him. It woke him up for a minute, he fussed and dozed back off, holding onto his moma's shoulder. "Don't let go of me...I need you." He seemed to say...I remarked, "No matter which way you turn him, he's gonna make sure he's holding onto you, even in his semi unconscious state."

"And that's okay'" Scarlet said, "Next year he probably won't even want to sit in my lap."

And she's right...so even though it's late...my New Year's wish for my family and friends would be to seize the little moments in life...cherish your family and friends...and may you be blessed with V8 cans, placed by angels, beside your bed.

---------------------------------Ethan a few months ago-------------------------------- --------------------- -------------Emme B on the V8 day------------------------

You must watch this!

Watch CBS Videos Online