"For last year's words belong to last year's language. And next year's words await another voice. And to make an end is to make a beginning." - T.S

So, it’s New Year’s Day…and I’m thinking…

365 days have past…and they were some good and some not so good…

I started 2009 with Moma in the hospital and now the year is closing with Moma in the hospital. She has been in the hospital 4 times in the past 365 days and also rehabilitation in Cardinal Hill Hospital. She has cracked her tailbone, her head, her ribs, and coded twice (once before a colonoscopy in September and once just recently on Christmas Eve). Her ribs were cracked the first time they revived her. She has learned that her renal cancer has metastasized. She had taken six months of Sutent, a drug that shrinks the cancer cells. Her frail body cannot take anymore cancer fighting drugs. She has experienced frequent trips to the doctor and this last visit to the hospital, she’s had surgery, 7 units of blood, coded as I mentioned before, taking the nurses and all involved 22 minutes to bring her back and clear the code on Christmas Eve. She spent Christmas on the ventilator in ICU…with her children beside her. It’s been a rough haul for her and we don’t seem to have much relief in sight.

My Nephew, Ethan, spent a spell in the hospital this year as well. And Granny got bit by Aunt Juanita's cat while Aunt Juanita was in the hospital.

My Great Aunt spent a long time in the hospital also earlier this year with rehabilitation at Cardinal Hill, too. At one point, Aunt Juanita was in ICU on one wing of the 3rd floor while Moma was on the other end of the 3rd floor.

We moved my good friend Connie from Kansas to Lexington to live with Aunt Juanita when she was dismissed from Cardinal Hill to assist with daily tasks…turned out Aunt Juanita is an independent woman and we moved Ms. Connie in with us. Connie spent the summer with us and moved back to her home state in Washington in the middle of August…I think…I’ve lost track of time. Adjust to an additional member in the home and then adjust to her absence.

I’ve helped move my sister twice and after the second time, when she was settled, moved my moma in with her.

Papa was laid off from Flooring Gallery after working there as a contractor to manager for 32 some years. Just out of the blue…see ya, you gotta go. And he went peacefully with the promise that they would probably have him come back in the summer months. It never happened. But it didn’t need to cause he started his own business and it has blossomed into a booming success.

That turned out to be a blessing in many ways as Craig was out of work towards the end of the summer, due to the economy…so he assists Papa in the business. He is a VALUED worker as Papa is plumb bombarded with orders.

This year marked my first year on my own, of my dream job and off probation. It’s been a year of learning, growing and stumbling. Getting use to the schedule of court, training and 24/7 obligation. I took on Pool Patrol this summer. It was an extra day of work on one of my days off…in the heat, in full uniform, at Castlewood. We learn from our experiences…As much as I like to help…I think I’ll pass next time.

With Moma in the hospital, I’ve learned my “brother and sister’s in blue” are truly family…and I am doubly blessed.

Due to the hospital time I have put in earlier in the year, my exercise program went out the window so I had to hire a trainer, Jason Bush, with Body Structure to get back into the swing of things. That was different and yet very rewarding. At the completion of my paid time, I have been able to start a program called P90X. An extreme fitness program that isn’t for everyone, but I am really enjoying it. With Moma in the hospital the whole month of December, I’ve had to revamp my schedule quite a bit, but I am determined not to let the situation set me back in my routine. So far the worse I’ve had is spacing the workouts to every other day during week six of my program. I weigh less than I did when I started Academy and feel good despite the world crashing around me. Exercise is very therapeutic, you know.

I’ve still been able to keep up with my grandkiddos despite the crazy adventures of the year. Not as much as I would like though…it’s obvious my family has been on hold here and there. But for most of them, they are very understanding and encouraging…and that is what family is about…I do love my family!!!

I haven’t mentioned our addition! Daisy, our golden retriever, came to us in September. Watching Winston going downhill, we so wanted our next dog to have Winston as a role model. Daisy just fell in our lap via a co worker with Ariel. My goodness, it’s just like children and grandchildren…just when you think you could love no one more…another comes along and you find more room in your heart to share the love. Puppy love is amazing, too…so is the insurmountable puppy debris and training!

In the craziness of it all, we still managed a grand vacation with camping, city life and ocean views…and Ed and Charlotte even met up with us in Washington DC. I was able to visit Deb in Texas on her birthday…and have a family get together for Thanksgiving at a nice little cabin in Corbin.

I’ll be honest, my housework, and yard work has suffered over this year. You can write your name in the dust. I have had to find shortcuts to make the time stretch. Some of my relationships have suffered. Although it saddens me, to admit that, I can honestly say, I have made all the efforts possible within the craziness of the events to maintain all of my relationships. Some people just have a hard time adjusting to sharing and change. I can understand that even if I can’t make it better.

I want to be more organized this coming year. Organized in my home life, my occupation and my relationships…including my relationship with my God. I want to learn more…again in my home life, my occupation and in my relationships. I have spent the past 20 some years organizing and practicing my obsessive compulsiveness. This past year, I haven’t had even time to devote to those. I kinda like being on top of things.

Year 2009 has been incredibly challenging yet rewarding. I reckon that’s just how every year is…if we stand back and examine it. I like to do that when the time surfaces. May 2010 be a bit softer…and may my family and friends be blessed with good times that over shadow any rough ones.

Happy New Year! And in the words of Benjamin Franklin, “Be always at war with your vices, at peace with your neighbors, and let each New Year find you a better person.”

Maybe Angels Whistle...

Moma is back in the hospital...bleeding in her intestines...looking at whether she is strong enough for surgery...She's been able to be involved in so many things since she stopped talking the cancer treatment. One of those decisions that is big and scary.
Yesterday as I left her at the hospital, it was raining, cold and dreary. I had Moma on my mind, the Lakewood officers and stress was dragging me down...I felt like I was walking thru mud to get to my car. I crossed the pedestrian walk just behind a woman carrying a blue and white polka dot umbrella that reminded me of Ms Beasley. She was quite a few steps in front of me, but I could hear her whistling. As I got closer to her, I recognized the tune from years past. Growing up in a country church we sung old hymns, most of the time without music...and I began singing the whole song as I got into the truck...and began driving home...of course, I got a little teary eyed as I thought about the words, my stresses and worries...but also because God is funny how He speaks to me...it's not everyday that angels in polka dots whistle "Trust and Obey"

Where The Wild Things Are...there's one in all of us

We got to see the movie yesterday...with some special "wild things" and it was a hit! Just like most movies there is controversy over acceptable content. I read some reviews this morning...after I fed the "doggie wild things"...and while my "grand wild things" are "romping" about the bedroom...awake..but not ready to surface. The reviews weren't fair...so I thought I'd right my own...I will try to write it in such a way that you are informed but the movie isn't spoiled for you.
How can people who read the book...go to the movie and not know what they are going to see. It shouldn't be a surprise...the book is about an imaginative boy, who acts like a kid (that's why the darn wild things have parents) who lets his imagination "grow" and take him away into a wild monster filled land, that allows him to have his way...agree? Well...guess what...the movie has the same concept...
Clue...If your child wasn't happy with the book...then they probably won't be happy with the movie...just saying.
To keep from spoiling the movie...I'll be brief...Max is a youth that has a great imagination...feels lonely...and resents the activities of his sister and mother...because they are not involving him. He acts out (imagine, a youth acting out because they are not getting their way, negative attention will suffice) He does take off running from Mom...but guys he comes back...maybe get with the timeline...He runs out of the house at supper time...comes back and eats his supper before the days ends...His imagination was rolling during that hour, remember...
Max identifies with the monsters...Carol is a monster that wants his way...gets mad at those he loves when he doesn't get his way...and learns by the end of Max's adventure on the island that his behavior is not getting him what he wants. He feels remorse for ill behavior...awesome concept. Max gets to face the reality that everyone is different...they perceive and respond differently...and it's all good. There's team work...there's accomplishments...there's lesson's...there's humor...strange humor...and there's wild times...so wild...that one of my "grand wild things" who wishes to remain anonymous, got so involved with the wild rumpus that he begin kicking the seat in front of him, which prompted the patron in that seat to remind him it was occupied...
We had lots to talk about after the movie...we even talked about it more during dinner...which by the way I skipped the frozen corn...they loved it! We have howled and howled...we have talked about Max's explosive episode in the kitchen with his mother...we have pulled quotes from the movie and made each other laugh...like..."that was my favorite arm" and "it's just a dog, don't feed it or it will follow you around."
One good clue for those of you who are planning to take your children...if they weren't happy with the book...they probably won't be happy with the movie...and a 2 year old...wouldn't be ready for the movie...be realistic...it's rated PG for a reason. The "grand wild things" that Papa and I took to view it...were old enough to understand and reason.
If anything...the door is open to discuss how WE ALL (adults/parents included) want to act out sometimes...and how it can affect those around us...and better ways to handle our feelings.
Max is a precious boy. He was adorable, imaginative and growing wise...Several times during the movie, I leaned over and stated to Papa, how precious he was. Maybe, it's because I haven't raised perfect children that I can see precious beings in wild containers.

And it was good...all good.

Did you see it? Whatcha think?

I Still Got It!...(with a little help from my friend)

There was a time when you could find me out with up to 10 babies/children/youths, a mixture most of the time...It was nothing for me to take them to the park, on a hike or to the swimming pool, etc. This morning Scarlet was going to take Mom to her doctor appointment and Becky had an appointment for her car. So...I volunteered to meet Scarlet and Becky at Fayette Mall, at 0915 take their younguns (both almost 2 years of age) to the play ground and go sight seeing. This I did until 1225. I'm still alive. Both children are safe and taking naps (at least Emily is right now... Ethan looked like he might zonk on the first roll of the wheels when his moma drove off with him)...visually overstimulated and not wanting the adventure to stop. We talked about mannequins without faces, without heads, remote helicopters, read books, romped on the playground several times, had a snack in the food court, went outside for a walk, looked at statues, flowers, listened to the birds and sang songs...The five little monkeys swinging in the tree, teasing Mr. Alligator, is definitely their favorite! For three hours...Hey, I still got it!
A little secret though...right before I left the house...I called my neighbor, Delva...who has five children, including a set of twins...and she let me borrow the BMW of all strollers. I'm not sure how my adventure would have turned out had I not had that little/big help from my friend! Bless you, Bless you, Delva!!!

As I was getting out of the truck this morning at the Mall...Air1 was talking about a woman who went to the hospital thinking she was having a stroke...she was 41...turns out...she was in labor...and didn't even know she was pregnant...I WILL TAKE THREE HOURS WITH TWO - TWO YEARS OLDS ANY OLE DAY!!!!

Drooling in My Soup Bowl...

It's been almost 2 hours since I left the dentist office. She had to repair a filling I got when I was 12 years old...for those of you that are counting, yes, that was some time ago.
I'm starving...and I thought the numbness was almost gone. As I sit here, leaning over my bowl, trying to sponge the broth off my chin before it runs back into the bowl...I have an epiphany...this is what Doc meant...when she said, "Oh, I've numbed your mouth up good."

Witty World of William...Again

William came in last night from running with his ROTC Major...he grabbed a Cliff, chocolate brownie flavor...as we sit in Johnny Carinos last night, 09/11/2009, recalling what he had eaten...he stated, "Whoever decided to name that flavor chocolate brownie was a radical optimist."
He says things like that...I can't seem to record them all.

You Will Be Missed!

After sharing a roof for 4 1/2 months...Connie packed up and we took her to meet her sister, Alice (from Puerto Rico), in Ohio to catch the Amtrack to Washington state. The picture you see was created by Connie when she had originally planned to drive back...that was before her car refused to be a part of the plan.

Alice is 11 months younger than her sister Connie...
and I know they will enjoy their time on the train...

I am positive they will be laughing...alot!

You will be missed around here, Ms Connie!!!

I will miss my female companionship…with all her tidbits of information and wise sayings and pretty pictures…Jesse will miss you…he doesn’t realize all you do around here…but he will…William will miss you…not because he won’t have anyone to argue with…cause he’ll find that anywhere…he’ll truly miss you… Winston will miss you…I know he looked forward to your walks…Pikachu will miss you…and the little tidbits of food you shared…the garden will miss you…the birds will miss you…the neighbors will miss you…all the visitors that stop by will miss you…How will I ever make Emily understand where her Ms Connie is?

Just because I am not creative in expressing myself like you are…don’t think you’re leaving will be unnoticed…You will be sorely missed…I so wish you could have just gotten an apartment here in Lexington. Washington is so far away…but we’ve been here before and managed our friendship…we’ll do it again!
I wish the best for you in the new spot. I pray you can settle and gather dust. :O)

And no matter where you are…remember, your Donna loves you…even in her busiest times…

Kentucky will miss you!