Saturday, April 16, 2011

Windy days...

Baby Grace is not here this morning…She’s with her Daddy…so Mimi is left with her thoughts and no distractions…tossed to and fro…unable to connect…and I remember how my friend talks to me about grounding techniques…breath, Donna…5 counts in/5 counts out for 15 minutes…think about what you DO have control over…even simple things such as the temperature of your shower water…what clothes you wear…Notice touch, using your bodies senses to experience exactly where I am in the moment. Why do I permit my thoughts to take me to dark places? Letting them blow me here and there…

The wind is strong today…both inside these walls and out. Everything is moved by it…I sat in my bed watching the trees and the grass moved by the invisible force. Grounded. Rooted…so moved but standing firm.

And then a robin came bobbing up towards my window…walking up the driveway…It’s feathery cap blowing in the wind…it’s tail feathers blowing to the side…the dull orange on her chest blowing revealing gray…but she stood…with one leg cocked out to the side, a bird with a “tude. She stood firm in the wind…little stick legs planting her firm.
And a verse comes to mind…that reminds me that He cares for the birds and I am more valuable than them.

Do I feel all better? No. But I’m learning…and I’m trying to see myself through God’s eyes…

Why would I post this?

Cause as I watch the grass, the trees, the birds, Daisy’s fur blowing in the wind…I know I’m not the only one…struggling to stand firm. Someone else might need to know they aren’t either.

I think…I’ll stop working on my college essay for a while, get outside and mow some of this grass…let the wind blow me around and think about how I am planted firm in God’s care…like an ole bird with a ‘tude.