I awake from a restless and an insufficient amount of sleep. I sip my morning coffee. I slowly ingest the healthy cereal dotted with blueberries despite the fact that donuts appeal to me more. I am going to do what needs to be done. I can do it. I will remain strong in my decisions.
I dress to go run. My body is tired but I must go. Twenty pushups before I leave to hit the asphalt. On the last three I want to quit but I endure. Breathing and pushing to the end.
It is hot outside; I began sweating within the first 100 yards. My shins are tight despite the stretching before this two mile run. But I continue. I will persevere. With 3/4's of a mile left of the run I begin rationalizing it would be fine to only run a mile and a half today. Vacillating is not permitted and I trudge on. Head held high and sights set on the goal.
Back home replenished with cool water, I hit the floor and work through 20 sit ups. The resolve in me is overwhelming and I know I can do anything I set my mind to.
At work, faced with difficult people and difficult situations I remain calm and see to each task with purpose and strength of mind. I am strong. I am determined. I am disciplined.
Sitting at the triage counter I reach for the triage questions and the citation from the arresting officer so they can be placed in the manila jacket…something so simple compared to the rest of my day…sounds suddenly become magnified…my nerves are set on edge…my heart rate increases…a look of dismay appears on my face…I cannot deal with reality, I demand those around me stop talking and allow me to work through this horrifying experience. The hand sanitizer applied heightens the pain and I feel lightheaded. Blowing furiously on my hand I am faced with my one weakness... I slump in my chair, suffering from the reality of my vulnerability and allow myself to become incapacitated by a paper cut.