"For last year's words belong to last year's language. And next year's words await another voice. And to make an end is to make a beginning." - T.S

So, it’s New Year’s Day…and I’m thinking…

365 days have past…and they were some good and some not so good…

I started 2009 with Moma in the hospital and now the year is closing with Moma in the hospital. She has been in the hospital 4 times in the past 365 days and also rehabilitation in Cardinal Hill Hospital. She has cracked her tailbone, her head, her ribs, and coded twice (once before a colonoscopy in September and once just recently on Christmas Eve). Her ribs were cracked the first time they revived her. She has learned that her renal cancer has metastasized. She had taken six months of Sutent, a drug that shrinks the cancer cells. Her frail body cannot take anymore cancer fighting drugs. She has experienced frequent trips to the doctor and this last visit to the hospital, she’s had surgery, 7 units of blood, coded as I mentioned before, taking the nurses and all involved 22 minutes to bring her back and clear the code on Christmas Eve. She spent Christmas on the ventilator in ICU…with her children beside her. It’s been a rough haul for her and we don’t seem to have much relief in sight.

My Nephew, Ethan, spent a spell in the hospital this year as well. And Granny got bit by Aunt Juanita's cat while Aunt Juanita was in the hospital.

My Great Aunt spent a long time in the hospital also earlier this year with rehabilitation at Cardinal Hill, too. At one point, Aunt Juanita was in ICU on one wing of the 3rd floor while Moma was on the other end of the 3rd floor.

We moved my good friend Connie from Kansas to Lexington to live with Aunt Juanita when she was dismissed from Cardinal Hill to assist with daily tasks…turned out Aunt Juanita is an independent woman and we moved Ms. Connie in with us. Connie spent the summer with us and moved back to her home state in Washington in the middle of August…I think…I’ve lost track of time. Adjust to an additional member in the home and then adjust to her absence.

I’ve helped move my sister twice and after the second time, when she was settled, moved my moma in with her.

Papa was laid off from Flooring Gallery after working there as a contractor to manager for 32 some years. Just out of the blue…see ya, you gotta go. And he went peacefully with the promise that they would probably have him come back in the summer months. It never happened. But it didn’t need to cause he started his own business and it has blossomed into a booming success.

That turned out to be a blessing in many ways as Craig was out of work towards the end of the summer, due to the economy…so he assists Papa in the business. He is a VALUED worker as Papa is plumb bombarded with orders.

This year marked my first year on my own, of my dream job and off probation. It’s been a year of learning, growing and stumbling. Getting use to the schedule of court, training and 24/7 obligation. I took on Pool Patrol this summer. It was an extra day of work on one of my days off…in the heat, in full uniform, at Castlewood. We learn from our experiences…As much as I like to help…I think I’ll pass next time.

With Moma in the hospital, I’ve learned my “brother and sister’s in blue” are truly family…and I am doubly blessed.

Due to the hospital time I have put in earlier in the year, my exercise program went out the window so I had to hire a trainer, Jason Bush, with Body Structure to get back into the swing of things. That was different and yet very rewarding. At the completion of my paid time, I have been able to start a program called P90X. An extreme fitness program that isn’t for everyone, but I am really enjoying it. With Moma in the hospital the whole month of December, I’ve had to revamp my schedule quite a bit, but I am determined not to let the situation set me back in my routine. So far the worse I’ve had is spacing the workouts to every other day during week six of my program. I weigh less than I did when I started Academy and feel good despite the world crashing around me. Exercise is very therapeutic, you know.

I’ve still been able to keep up with my grandkiddos despite the crazy adventures of the year. Not as much as I would like though…it’s obvious my family has been on hold here and there. But for most of them, they are very understanding and encouraging…and that is what family is about…I do love my family!!!

I haven’t mentioned our addition! Daisy, our golden retriever, came to us in September. Watching Winston going downhill, we so wanted our next dog to have Winston as a role model. Daisy just fell in our lap via a co worker with Ariel. My goodness, it’s just like children and grandchildren…just when you think you could love no one more…another comes along and you find more room in your heart to share the love. Puppy love is amazing, too…so is the insurmountable puppy debris and training!

In the craziness of it all, we still managed a grand vacation with camping, city life and ocean views…and Ed and Charlotte even met up with us in Washington DC. I was able to visit Deb in Texas on her birthday…and have a family get together for Thanksgiving at a nice little cabin in Corbin.

I’ll be honest, my housework, and yard work has suffered over this year. You can write your name in the dust. I have had to find shortcuts to make the time stretch. Some of my relationships have suffered. Although it saddens me, to admit that, I can honestly say, I have made all the efforts possible within the craziness of the events to maintain all of my relationships. Some people just have a hard time adjusting to sharing and change. I can understand that even if I can’t make it better.

I want to be more organized this coming year. Organized in my home life, my occupation and my relationships…including my relationship with my God. I want to learn more…again in my home life, my occupation and in my relationships. I have spent the past 20 some years organizing and practicing my obsessive compulsiveness. This past year, I haven’t had even time to devote to those. I kinda like being on top of things.

Year 2009 has been incredibly challenging yet rewarding. I reckon that’s just how every year is…if we stand back and examine it. I like to do that when the time surfaces. May 2010 be a bit softer…and may my family and friends be blessed with good times that over shadow any rough ones.

Happy New Year! And in the words of Benjamin Franklin, “Be always at war with your vices, at peace with your neighbors, and let each New Year find you a better person.”