He Promised Never to Leave Me. Never to Leave Me alone.

 

I’m not really good at hiding things from God. I’ve been in a struggle lately. Lots of reasons. That maybe don’t even matter in the broad skim of things. I had a reminder today. This is an area that has needles, broken egg shells, used latex gloves and more. I can pick what I choose to focus on. We all can.

 

 

The Spirit has been tugging at me lately.

I went to a call Sunday. A man found his brother deceased. He had been gone from this world for days. Let me back up. Sunday morning I read a clip about how “Where does the Bible say God will only give you what you can handle?” The writer went onto say, where can you find that? It’s not there. What the Bible does say, is "Lo, I am with you always, I will fear no evil for you are with me, the Lord is near to all who call on him." And it was a comfort to read that. But my spirit was still heavy. and I didn’t recognize why, in particular, that was put in front of me.

Let’s go back to that afternoon as this dear man stood in front of me, had shared that he was a saved man and told me in the past year he’s lost his father, his mother, and now his brother. He said it several times. He kept saying, I’m at my breaking point but God won’t give you more than what you can handle right? I t was a cry for a good word. I prayed silently, “Lord give me wisdom.” after the coroner had removed the body he re-entered the residence once again to try to clean up. Cleaning is always a good therapy. As he looked at the task at hand he repeated his statement of "God won’t give you more than what you can handle, right?" And I felt a Holy Spirit tug. "You know this morning I read something." And I shared with him very briefly. That the writer stated there is nothing in the Bible that says that statement. But it does say, "He bears it for us, with us." And he recognized it as a good word I could see. His eyes swelled with tears and he tapped over his heart. “Yes. Yes,” He said. "Yes." 

And I left him to focus on his grief. And prayed he would feel God’s spirit of comfort in the midst of it.

Next morning... was Monday and I was reading the devotion in Our Daily Bread and it was about finding strength in God.” It quoted the verse “I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that God’s power may rest on me.” 2Cor. 12:9-10

 

I’ll continue to get reminders. I know I will. But also wanted to share. Someone else might need them, too.

 

 

 

Look to the Light. Be the Light. Be Thankful for the Light.

 

Standing at the sink I looked over to the sunlight revealing the need for a clean. I had wiped the kitchen down yesterday, when it was cold and cloudy. Today's sunshine streaming through revealed flaws in the wipe down. 

My mind can be scattered in my thinking process. "I'm a little teapot" bounced around along with "Let your light shine" and Jesus' speaking, "I am the light of the world, whoever believes in me should not abide in darkness."

I went to thinking how some people don't care for the light. Sometimes, I ignore it myself. It reveals dirt. Dirt is embarrassing. Someone good shines and we can suddenly see our need to change our motives, attitudes, speech and our walk. So many times though when God shines the light through his word or other people instead of focusing on what calls for change or growth we get embarrassed or resentful that our own flaws were exposed. We can miss out on great things when we do. Own it, address it. Become shiny and reflective.

This little teapot spoke to me loudly today and it's message continued as I tuned in online to hear Vineyard Community Church Pastor Clark's message titled, "I Saw the Light." 

A reminder to my heart. Be thankful for the light. Light makes things grow. Let the light change you. May your roots sink deep into the soil of God's love and may you become strong in your resolve to face what the light reveals. 

John 12:46 -- John 8:12 -- Proverbs 9:8-9 -- Run toward the light -- Take your candle and go light your world -- Praise the Lord, I saw the light.

For The Love of Daisy

 

Today your last day 

 

I wonder if you’ll remember your last day like I do. 

 

Waking up all through the early morning hours, not able to get comfortable. You held your face close to me, you let me invade your space, you seemed starved not for food but for my attention. 

 

You hadn’t eaten/drank/peed or pooed since 5 pm last night. I’ve took you out only to watch you double tap and produce nothing and wobble back in. I took you out at 1am to only watch you step off the porch and turn to go back up the ramp into the house. 

 

I watched your hind legs separate twice as you tried to walk across the floor and go completely out to the sides in a very unnatural position. Wobbling as I help you back up, you presented as if it was not painful. Not out of character for you, Daisy, but in all these years we have shared I’ve caught on to how you have hid your pain. 

 

I placed a towel under your hips to assist you outside a third time around 10 AM. It proved very helpful. You didn’t pee though, you walked me to the truck instead. “Let’s go.” And maybe I should have taken you for a last ride, but I turned you around and assisted you back to the ramp taking you inside. 

 

Feed her anything she wants the Vet told me, Daisy. If only you could eat. Today you wouldn’t take a peanut butter cracker, lunch meat, ice cream, chicken broth, biscuit/gravy or treats. You would not be tempted to drink water. 

 

The Prime van came and even drove through our yard again but you didn’t get up. You didn’t bark. You weren’t interested. You were just interested in holding your cold paw in my hand, laying your dripping nose on my leg or my foot. 

 

Laps of Love told me they couldn’t help until 3 PM but you proved to be a strong warrior and fought fearlessly without their aids. When you raised up about 30 minutes before your fight ended, I recognized the look you had on your face. Xena had the same look, a stressed but rigid look of determination preparing to battle. Your breathing changed as the minutes passed. You moved around trying to breathe and get comfortable. You accepted our touch of comfort without any sign of irritation. “We are here with you, baby,” I told you as you were nearing the end of your fight. Emily and I reminded you of what a good girl you have been. We talked about joys we have experienced with you, we tried to give you courage. 

 

And then you left. 

 

Different than your travel of lightening speed to the creek when the hankering to hunt crawdads overtook you. I always sighed and got in the truck and went after you and brought you back to me. Different than your chase to the hay man at the gate or the landlord at the work barn. I always sighed, grabbed a leash, and wrangled you back to me. You traveled further than I can go this time. 

 

And I am left with a Daisy size hole in my heart that I am desperately trying to fill with your scent from the pillow you lay against. I know that will fade away eventually but never will you fade from my mind. Please remember I love you like a big dog!

Manners

I had this hanging in the bathroom as the children grew up on Shoreside. I love seeing it still hanging there. It’s still excellent advice. 

“Manners are about showing consideration and using empathy. But they are also about being connected to a common good; they are about being better. Respect and consideration are traditionally due to people for all sorts of reasons, some big, some small. Here are 20 (most lapsed) reasons to show special politeness to other people.

1. They are older.
2. They know more than you do.
3. They know less than you do.
4. They got here first.
5. They have educational qualifications in the subject under discussion.
6. You are in their house.
7. They want to help you financially.
8. They have been good to you all your life.
9. They are less fortunate than you.
10. They have achieved special status in the wider world.
11. You are serving them in the shop. 
12. They are in the right.
13. They are your boss.
14. They work for you.
15. They are a police man, teacher, doctor, judge.
16. They are in need.
17. They are doing you a favor.
18. They paid for your tickets.
19. You phoned them, not the other way round.
20. They have a menial job.”

Excerpted from Talk to the Hand the Utter Bloody Rudeness of Every Day Life

(or six good reasons to stay home and bolt the door),by Lynn Truss

Det. Deidre Mengedoht--End of Watch 12-24-2018

Det. Deidre Mengedoht I did not attend the service Det.Deidre Mengedoht in Louisville today. Death affects us all differently. I was able to attend parts of the service via coverage from a Louisville television station. I did listen to the two songs her mother asked to be sung at her service because of the comfort her daughter received from them here on this earth. One was, I Will Trust In You by Lauren Daigle and another Reckless Love by Cory Asbury. Listen to them as a tribute to Det. Deidre Mengedoht.

There is a link for the service on Louisville Metro Police Department Foundation's Facebook page. There is also a fundraiser for her nine year old son. The photos shown at the service of her family, her friends, her and her son were amazing to see. And they remind me....to remind you...

For family and friends who did not sign up for this job. For those who live with the aspects of law enforcement but never wear the badge. For those left behind. We see you. Most importantly God sees you. He has purposed you to be a part of these lives in blue. The joy you have brought to the dark moments of law enforcement have not gone unnoticed.

Det. Deidre Mengedoht

Louisville Metro Police Department, Kentucky

End of Watch Monday, December 24, 2018 http://www.odmp.org/officer/23865-detective-deidre-irene-mengedoht